Once again I feel like a total failure. Why is trying to do the right thing so stinking hard? Sometimes it seems like the whole world must be watching my life like it's a pathetic comedy. Having what I think is a great idea once again come crashing down with the success of a faceplant. Watching me get my hopes up and allow myself to become excited about something only to have it grossly underacheive the desired outcome.
No, I am not sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but for the group I am supposed to be helping. I am frustrated and embarrassed that I have let them down once again. I can't help but wonder if there is something I am supposed to be learning...am I taking on too much, filling my life with unnecessary stress? Should I be standing up for (or against) something that I am not? Should I be asking for help instead of trying to do it all myself? I have learned how to do things differently next time to get a better result, but that doesn't comfort me RIGHT NOW. It is a lesson learned for the future but does nothing to help the present situation. Learning lessons is no fun at all....
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