The Mourning of a Legend

Finding out about the death of Robin Williams today put such a heaviness in my heart. It goes without saying that the man was a brilliant actor who was capable of eliciting any and all emotion, whether playing the part of desperate dad, unconventional "captain" or flamboyant homosexual. He was inspiring and grounded and hilariously funny. He was talented yet humble.

He was quoted as saying, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."  

I can't help but wonder, with all the people surrounding him - fans swarming like bees, managers, directors, hair and makeup people and all - if he still felt alone. It is such an empty feeling, being in a roomful of people and feeling utterly alone. It is one of the first steps down the spiral staircase to despair. Was this just another movie line or was it coincidentally insightful he giving us a glimpse into the deepest need of a tortured soul?  

It makes me sad to think of the man that made so many laugh so much, unhappy enough to take his own life. I, myself, will choose to remember him as an inspiring, boundary-pushing teacher who taught me to ask the hard questions, to not follow blindly and to seize the day. "Oh, Captain! My Captain!" my mantra as I stand on my desk with my head held high in defiance. 

RIP Robin Williams 1951-2014