The Great Enemy

At church, we recently finished up a study on spiritual warfare.  It was a great study that is very relevant and useful for our lives today.  As the study was coming to a close, I was reminded of a poem I had written not very long before.  This is it.

I am the monster in your closet.
I'm the thing under your bed;
      your doubts, your fears,
             your unbelief,
I'm everything you dread.
I'm gravity, pulling down.
I am the undertow,
       grabbing on, holding tight
              and never letting go.
I'm the bully.
I'm the psycho.
       The beast, the dark, the wine.
I'm suspicion.
I am hatred
        breathing cold chills up your spine.
I'm the chasm of despair.
I am the great abyss.
        The nothing, the nightmare,
               death's deep and darkest kiss.
I am the first deceiver,
        the traitor, the funeral pyre.
I'm winter's killing frost.
I am the original liar.
I am beauty's great imposter.
I sing the sirens' song.
I'm distraction, greed, corruption.
I confuse what's right and wrong.
I'm the dragon, breathing fire,
        that haunts you in your sleep.
I'm inhuman and unnatural
        and I'm laughing as you weep.

"Stay alert!  Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.  He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 
1 Peter 5:8

I'm Baaack!

Okay people.  I know I have been away for a while. For those of you who don't know, I have been doing some transcription to make extra money.  This has caused me to spend less time on the computer doing things I love (i.e. writing, Pinterest : ], etc.) because my body and eyes don't like me to stay on the computer for hours and hours on end.  But, I have decided that I need to set myself some goals.  After watching Julie and Julia (again) I see how much I am like Julie in that I have a hard time finishing anything.  So, beginning the last week in August, I will challenge myself to write EVERY DAY until my daughter comes home from college for the following summer.  Every day I will write something.  Write anything.  And then blog about what I wrote or blog WHAT I wrote.  (Hopefully these pages will not be silent between now and August.  I plan for it to be a time to gear up and practice writing more often.)  These upcoming entries may range from what I think about something going on in the world to a poem to thoughts about (or excerpts from) the book I have been working on for the past seven or so years.  Once in a while, I warn you, I will probably write about something that is going on in my life personally.  For me, writing has always been a form of therapy.  I have never really been able to keep a journal in the sense that you sit down every day, reflect and write.  I write emotionally - like some people eat emotionally.  I do my best writing when I am down.  That is not to say that everything I write is (or will be) depressing.  That is what is so therapeutic about it!  Usually, it helps all the junk to flow out so that I can have a fresh perspective, which ends up reminding me how much I have to be grateful for.  So the question that is currently rattling around in my head is this:  "Why in the heck do I think that anyone cares what I think?".  I don't know if I will gain any more followers along this journey in the coming months or if anyone will read anything I write at all.  Of course I hope to provoke some deep thinking and occasionally make someone laugh, but the real reason I am doing this is for myself.  So, reader, whether you are there or not, whether you return or not, I will continue to write...because I love it.

Observe THIS!

We have gotten so good at hiding our STUFF - to cramming it down and carrying it alone - when all it does is weigh us down and blocks us from having true, meaningful relationships with others and from receiving healing of our deepest wounds.

We Are All Oysters

Every one of us has something.  It may be something big and bold.  It may be something quiet and camouflaged.  But every one of us has something.  And if we spend the time and the energy to foster that something - to find it, to hone it, to practice it, to dare to imagine ourselves as something more - then we will find we enjoy life a little more, love a little deeper, and finally, that we have grown something precious from what once was just a little bitty gritty something.

Agree or Disagree

I am convinced that, in America, common courtesy has largely gone the way of common sense....almost entirely extinct.  I mean, come on!  If someone has got their hands full and you get to the same door they are headed through at virtually the same time, open the door and let them go first!  Is this kind of courtesy just completely disregarded these days or is it that it is no longer even being taught?  I daily watch people cut others off on the road so that they might make it to wherever it is they are headed maybe thirty seconds earlier, people speed through parking lots to grab a space out from under someone else who was obviously there first and clearly non-disabled people parking in the handicapped parking spaces at the grocery store or the mall.  Are we so self-centered that we cannot take one second to think of someone else and put their needs before our own?  Are we so arrogant that we think that we deserve for people to treat us special and move out of our way while at the same time refusing to do this for anyone else?  I wonder how different life would be across our nation if everyone took a moment to put the needs of someone else before their own just one time during the course of each day.

He Does

Sometimes I feel like I'm just banging my head against a wall
Not doing any good at all
Doing everything I can to break my fall
Just trying to make it through another day

I'm just spinning my wheels
At least that's how it feels
I keep digging in my heels
So I won't be dragged away

You haven't lived my life
Looked down the barrel of a gun into your father's eyes
Or felt the tip of a knife
Against your throat

You just don't get it!

Here in this place I feel like a child
The cold steel feel of the tile
The institutional style
Of the place
Makes my heart race, my head brace
For the blow

You don't understand
There's no way you can
You aren't in my head
You never heard the things they said
Never truly wished you were dead
Or that you'd never been

Have you?

You haven't lived my life
Looked down the barrel of a gun into your father's eyes
Or felt the tip of a knife
Against your throat

You just don't get it!

But there is someone who does
Someone who knows my pain and more
Someone who knows me inside-out
Through all the masks into the core

While I'm curled up in the corner with my demons and my fears
He's still standing at the door
Knocking, knocking, knocking
But sometimes I can't hear
Through all these voices in my head
I forget the things He said
"Let not your heart be troubled"
"FEAR NOT"
"My peace I give unto you"
"I am with you always"
"My grace is sufficient"

You just don't get it!
But He does

Chew On This

Sometimes, I think, it is all too easy to lose sight of what our lives should really be about.  If we all worried less about what we don't have or what we want or even need, and focused more on figuring out how we can serve others - how we can contribute to making our world a better, nicer place to live - we would be a happier race of people.  Why do we say "I", "me" and "my" so much?  Have you ever really paid attention to how many times in one day you think or say phrases containing those words?  We are a selfish race, chiefly concerned with our own well-being and largely unconcerned about others.  Imagine what life could be like if we weren't so easily offended, if we put others convenience before our own, if we gave of our time, talents and money generously and sacrificially to help someone in need, if we didn't take advantage of people or systems in an effort to make our lives easier.  I dare say that our needs would be met, we would have peace beyond imagination, much less stress, better health and a life of fulfillment and satisfaction.  But one person alone is only the beginning...I can't change the world all by myself. : (